[Their leaf vibrates, and they stare directly at the message.
They've sent enough text messages to Hrist to get what this means.]
Okay, if I'm deciphering this right and after getting information from Nahobeeho... It's a massive dick with tentacles? Is that why you don't want to summon it? Also -- why are you using the scooter emoji? Don't tell me it's mounted on a scooter or something stupid like that.
[That's the only emoji they can't make out.]
You think I haven't seen a dick or two before? Come on, I have one too when I feel like it.
Powerful because of it's thrusting skills? Is it like permanently hard or something?
[They cannot imagine what a gigantic dick on a chariot can do. But then again, they can, and well. For how innocent Caelus comes off as, they... Certainly aren't.
There's some rustling, and before you know it, there's a knock on the door.]
Open up and show me this thing. We'll go outside so we don't traumatize your roommate.
[Oh, god, Caelus sounds just like him. It's a good thing this is just a voice call and not a video, so Caelus can't see just how Nahobino stares at his leaf in shock and offense.
He doesn't have long to think, because now Caelus is knocking on his door. Nahobino cracks it open, and then sighs and opens it more widely.
Nahobino sighs, but he doesn't argue. He just heads out, gesturing for Caelus to follow. Behind them, Nahobeeho closes the door and then bounds after them.]
[Well that was easy. They step to the side to let Nahobino leave first, before following on his right side. Hands tucked into their pockets, staring down at Nahobeeho.]
Yeah yeah, can't be as big as mine when I'm 20ft tall.
[Without warning, they kneel down to pick up Nahobeeho -- holding him in their arms as they walk out to the castle grounds. Luckily, there aren't a lot of people -- if at all. So they could easily do this without interruption.]
[On the one hand, Nahobino casts them a look because Mara is... quite sizeable. On the other hand, the image -- of Caelus that size, and Caelus that size, makes them look away. They don't blush, but they're clearly flustered.
Nahobeeho squeaks briefly. He almost protests, but... this place doesn't care about looking Strong as much as the netherworld, so whatever. He settles into Caelus' arms pretty happily.
Just when Nahobino relaxes, Caelus says that and they just close their eyes. They get that look when they're having an internal conversation.]
Um. [Right. What. They're outside. Nahobino hesitates for just a second, and then summons Mara. The demon stretches and practically moans.]
Ahhh, finally! I was so cramped, unable to expand to my full length... Now I'm terrible flaccid from disuses. I need my exercise. You ought to bring me out for a round or two, boy.
[Nahobino doesn't look at anyone at particular. Mara notices Caelus.]
And who's this? They just ooze with power. I'm practically trembling. I am the great and dominating Mara, and who are you?
[Caelus is still holding Nahobeeho as Mara is summoned. They stare, and stare some more, before coming into contact with Mara. Unsurprisingly relaxed and quite amused that there was just this gigantic dick of a monster on a chariot. It made as many dick jokes as they did, and it was pretty refreshing.]
Impressive. What a shame that you're flaccid right now, or else we could have a dick measuring competition.
[They can truly turn 20ft here. They tested it before, and they could still switch their genitals around. Although, they're joking of course, poking fun at Mara.]
I'm Caelus. I'm a deity, so that's probably the power you're feeling. Don't get too hard now, I don't need you sticking out of your chariot.
[What's worse is that Caelus gets closer, actually poking at the damn thing.]
Interesting. You even feel like the real thing. I'm not even gonna bother to ask why you look the way you do. I'm sure there are reasons but... How exactly do you attack someone? Do you cast spells or do you actually thrust forward?
[Nahobeeho's smile slowly fades as Caelus approaches Mara. They frown and then start squirming more and more frantically.]
Get me the hee-hell out of here!
[Nahobino eventually steps forward to take Nahobeeho and set him back down on the ground. Even Nahobeeho has limits.
Mara preens, briefly, looking over Caelus.]
Another true nahobino? Fascinating. This world is truly full of wonders to be plundered. [But then Caelus pokes him and he flares up, tentacles squirming angrily.]
Watch your hands! I am not some toy to be prodded at. I'll do the prodding, thank you, and I prefer a gentle touch. Unless you like it rough.
[That's not an answer, but Mara doesn't seem to care.]
[A nahobino? What does that even mean... They'll ignore it for now, and watch as the tentacles squirm. It's kind of grotesque but at the same time it's fascinating. Perhaps when they go home they can experiment with tentacles, but that's another time. Caelus doesn't seem deterred, and they don't back away. Instead, they circle Mara, staring at it with the utmost intent.]
I'm usually the one doing the prodding so forgive me. I'm not used to admiring, and you're just absolutely fascinating. Although, I'm in a happy marriage, so you'll get nothing from me.
[Well. They're not really admiring, but still. Caelus thought they were being gentle, but they guess not.]
Well, sort of. I'm the one roughing up my wife though. Not really a fan of taking it too roughly, it kind of hurts.
[This conversation is just getting worse by the minute.]
[Before Caelus can even speak, it seems like Nahobino has beat them to it. The poor boy looks flustered and miserable, and really, it seems like Caelus was having too much fun with this Mara.
So, they finally turn around and face Nahobino with a playful smile.]
Yeah, sure. Let him go back to being flaccid... Wherever you store him.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
too late
but what's Mara
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You don't want to know
Do NOT ask any of the others either
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is it like. embarrassing or something?
nahobeeho tells me everything :( how could you deny me an audience with him. i thought you wanted me to do his hair
1/2
Fine. But I warned you.
2/2 text->voice
Hee ho, who's there? Na-hee-ho-bino told me to get on the line, ho! Someone was asking for me!
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Annyywaayy, help me out here.
[This is IMPORTANT, apparently.]
Nahobino won't tell me what this "Mara" is. Can you tell me? Or show me? Go ahead and have him summon it. I'm curious.
nsfw just in case for mara nonsense
[There's a faint noise from Nahobino in the background, but evidently not enough to say anything.]
Mara? Yeah, hee's here with us, ho. But hee's too big to be in the room... Also, hee looks like a d---
[This time, Nahobino clears his throat loudly to cut Nahobeeho off.]
Hee says some really inappropriate things, ho!
cw: dick nonsense
[What's with this censorship! They're not going to get answers if Nahobino keeps coughing and huffing in the back.]
Do I look like I care if someone says something inappropriate? Just tell me what it is! Geez, the suspense is killing me.
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[It's clear he's talking to Nahobino. There's some muffled muttering between them both, and then after a moment Caelus will get a text.]
🍆🫐🪱🪱🪱
🛵
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They've sent enough text messages to Hrist to get what this means.]
Okay, if I'm deciphering this right and after getting information from Nahobeeho... It's a massive dick with tentacles? Is that why you don't want to summon it? Also -- why are you using the scooter emoji? Don't tell me it's mounted on a scooter or something stupid like that.
[That's the only emoji they can't make out.]
You think I haven't seen a dick or two before? Come on, I have one too when I feel like it.
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He's giant. [It's Nahobino on voice this time.] And it's a chariot.
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[Hm. That takes them a minute to comprehend. Is it because it's worshipped or something?]
Well. That takes dick worship to a whole new level.
[Another thing]
Why do you have that thing anyway?
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He's a powerful demon, I just had him in reserve. I didn't realize the fae would bring him along!
[Man. He should've fused Mara into something. This is what he gets for thinking it'd be funny to fight Lucifer with the dick chariot.]
action.
[They cannot imagine what a gigantic dick on a chariot can do. But then again, they can, and well. For how innocent Caelus comes off as, they... Certainly aren't.
There's some rustling, and before you know it, there's a knock on the door.]
Open up and show me this thing. We'll go outside so we don't traumatize your roommate.
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He doesn't have long to think, because now Caelus is knocking on his door. Nahobino cracks it open, and then sighs and opens it more widely.
Nahobino sighs, but he doesn't argue. He just heads out, gesturing for Caelus to follow. Behind them, Nahobeeho closes the door and then bounds after them.]
Hee-hello! You're gonna regret this, ho!
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Yeah yeah, can't be as big as mine when I'm 20ft tall.
[Without warning, they kneel down to pick up Nahobeeho -- holding him in their arms as they walk out to the castle grounds. Luckily, there aren't a lot of people -- if at all. So they could easily do this without interruption.]
Alrighty, let's see this massive cock of yours.
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Nahobeeho squeaks briefly. He almost protests, but... this place doesn't care about looking Strong as much as the netherworld, so whatever. He settles into Caelus' arms pretty happily.
Just when Nahobino relaxes, Caelus says that and they just close their eyes. They get that look when they're having an internal conversation.]
Um. [Right. What. They're outside. Nahobino hesitates for just a second, and then summons Mara. The demon stretches and practically moans.]
Ahhh, finally! I was so cramped, unable to expand to my full length... Now I'm terrible flaccid from disuses. I need my exercise. You ought to bring me out for a round or two, boy.
[Nahobino doesn't look at anyone at particular. Mara notices Caelus.]
And who's this? They just ooze with power. I'm practically trembling. I am the great and dominating Mara, and who are you?
cw: genitalia swapping, gender talk, and nsfw
Impressive. What a shame that you're flaccid right now, or else we could have a dick measuring competition.
[They can truly turn 20ft here. They tested it before, and they could still switch their genitals around. Although, they're joking of course, poking fun at Mara.]
I'm Caelus. I'm a deity, so that's probably the power you're feeling. Don't get too hard now, I don't need you sticking out of your chariot.
[What's worse is that Caelus gets closer, actually poking at the damn thing.]
Interesting. You even feel like the real thing. I'm not even gonna bother to ask why you look the way you do. I'm sure there are reasons but... How exactly do you attack someone? Do you cast spells or do you actually thrust forward?
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Get me the hee-hell out of here!
[Nahobino eventually steps forward to take Nahobeeho and set him back down on the ground. Even Nahobeeho has limits.
Mara preens, briefly, looking over Caelus.]
Another true nahobino? Fascinating. This world is truly full of wonders to be plundered. [But then Caelus pokes him and he flares up, tentacles squirming angrily.]
Watch your hands! I am not some toy to be prodded at. I'll do the prodding, thank you, and I prefer a gentle touch. Unless you like it rough.
[That's not an answer, but Mara doesn't seem to care.]
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I'm usually the one doing the prodding so forgive me. I'm not used to admiring, and you're just absolutely fascinating. Although, I'm in a happy marriage, so you'll get nothing from me.
[Well. They're not really admiring, but still. Caelus thought they were being gentle, but they guess not.]
Well, sort of. I'm the one roughing up my wife though. Not really a fan of taking it too roughly, it kind of hurts.
[This conversation is just getting worse by the minute.]
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[To the side, Nahobino looks just miserable. And shocked.]
Okay! You've seen Mara! Are you satisfied now!
[They're not sure they can manage to hear more details.]
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So, they finally turn around and face Nahobino with a playful smile.]
Yeah, sure. Let him go back to being flaccid... Wherever you store him.